Wouldn’t you wish you had parents, who were anything but authoritative, strict and unreasonable?
I mean, Imagine…
You’ve planned to go visit a very good friend of yours.
Everything has been put together for your visit…
Your friend is expecting you,
It promises to be a fun time,
And above all, you’re excited about the whole thing.
Then all of a sudden….
“You can’t go” said your parents. With no reasonable reason why you shouldn’t go.
You could decide to go anyway, but no…that won’t be a good idea.
Your friend would be disappointed in you, you thought.
You re frustrated, you’re annoyed, you’re boiling, you’re about to explode and yell,
“This is not fair!”
Before you explode,
Get a load of this…
Sage words from a parent.
“Before I became a parent, i always thought my parents hated me. It was after i became one that i came to the realization that what they had for me was never hate, but love immeasurable.
Being a parent I know what it feels like and i know all they go through;
That is why I’m saying – you have to honor your parents!…honouring them is the least you can do (it is the first commandment with promise)…Ephesians 6:1-3.
Here is one thing i can also say to you:
Parents have issues. Yes! They are humans too, they have issues. So when you see your father frowning, I expect you to be able to go up to him and ask him what the matter is.
You might not be able to do anything to help the situation, but ‘you can pray’ for wisdom for him to be able to solve the problem.
I know you would always want to show off…that you know it all – you know more than them….no doubt!
But even if you’re as wise as Solomon, or maybe wiser than him….SUBMIT TO THAT FOOLISH WOMAN!
Even when they are being unreasonable(I know we can be frustrating)…SUBMIT TO THAT FOOLISH WOMAN(parent)!
Now listen to this…
You will not go very far in life if you do not have an authority figure in your life.
…if you do not have that one person you respect and fear in your life…you are finished!
Anyone can be an authority figure in your life, but parents stands a better chance at it.
You are wise, i know.
I know your parents can’t measure up to the level of your wisdom.
I know that if their IQ and yours is placed on a scale, yours will overthrow theirs…yes! I know, but submit to them and their foolishness…
They are foolish for a purpose!
And if not for anything, but for the fact that they‘ve been here longer than you.
Submit to them…
Because no matter how wise you think you are, when you become a parent, you’ll find out that you’re really not that wise.
So, With that I implore you to from this moment, consciously cultivate a relationship with your parents…especially with the father.
- Seek their opinions.
- Forgive them if need be.
- Speak well of them.
- Represent them well.
- Be obedient.
- And always pray for them!”
And that is it…straight from the depth of a parent.
What do you think about it?…your few sage words would mean a lot.
Thank you for dropping by.😀
Thank you, Mr. Emmanuel Agha for inspiring this post.
You’re definitely going to love this.
The other day, our 5yr old sage kid over here walked up to me shortly after dropping her place in the kitchen and said,
‘Cynthia I’ve finished my food’
Cynthia: (giving her a high five) Good girl! Did you like it?
Sage kid: yes. I loved it. (After a brief pause) even if it was peppery, i still loved it.
Cynthia: (chuckles) awww. Thank you!
Sage kid: (smiling) and i love you too.
Sage kid: “I love you.
Even if you beat me, i will still love you. Even if you yell at me, i will still love you. Even if you take away my toys and stop me from playing, i will still love you.
Even if you force me to go and sleep, i will still love you.
And even when i say you’re not my friend again and that i don’t love you, i will still love you”.
She concluded, looking so innocent and true, her hands gestured “i just love you”
For a while i was speechless and smiling – i wanted to cry. Then i finally said,
“Emma, I love you too.
Even when you’re being naughty, i will still love you.
Even when i tell you to stop something and you don’t listen, i will still love you.
Even when i beat you, I will still love you. Okay?”
“Okay” she replied and nodded at the same time.
And with a smile that revealed her crooked, wobbly tooth, she ran off, leaving me SMILING.
Now, Without debate,
That once-in-a-while, spontaneous, out-of-the-blue expression of those deep feelings;
I don’t know about you, but to me,
It. Is. Priceless.
And you know what?
Being spontaneous in expression doesn’t have to do with our kids alone,
You(‘grown up’) can do it too….once in a while…just once in a while.
So I said to my dad at the end of our phone conversation yesterday,
“I love you”
He stuttered and replied,
“I love you, my daughter”
I was smiling when the call ended. I knew it got to him…I mean, he doesn’t get to hear it often.
So, aside showing, backing up with words once in a while, would have a great deal of impact.
Just ONCE in a WHILE,
Call, text, whisper…Smile widely to the person, and when asked why you’re smiling, just say…
I. LOVE. YOU.
….what do you think?
Drop your sagacious opinions.
You’ve felt it too, right?
That feeling that usually comes shortly after you’ve started something.
When suddenly, that great momentum, motivation and enthusiasm you started with all wears off…
And In it’s places comes that yucky, yet comforting feeling(state) of sheer indolence…you know you have to, you want to, but…you just don’t(won’t). You procrastinate instead…
You know the feeling, don’t you?
I Found myself in that zone recently… I got this lackadaisical attitude buttered with nonchalance towards my blogging and my wordpress family.
I got so much i wanted to share but, I just kept procrastinating. I got emails of new posts from blogs i followed but procrastinated checking them out.
I allowed sage moments slip by without keeping them…due to one thing or the other.
I wanted to, but that spark just wasn’t there.
But thank goodness.
After a recent post by Moushmi Radhanpara, coupled by pushes from few close ones…
I regained my spark!
So, I(oursagekids) is back – with that undiluted spontaneous sagacity…in full force.
My wordpress family, I can’t thank you enough. For staying with oursagekids…
And i must say, I’ve missed you…
It’s your love and support that really keeps the fire burning.
So we’re going to take this spark and work it to grow into a flame and then…
A fire…A wildfire.
We’ve got so much to take care of, yeah?
Tight schedules, jam-packed to-do lists, errands, unexpected occurrences…all to take care of!
So we’re busy…running here and there, doing this and that, most times…procrastinating.
Yet, In the midst of the multitasking, we still have to cater for the kids…ugh! The kids! …Make sure they eat, take baths, sleep…generally, they have to be alive, well, safe and comfortable….all their needs have to be met.
But hey!…we can’t cater for all their needs, right?…we need help.
Ok fine. The household needs we can manage, but what about the need for education?(we can’t add that to the loads of household needs, can we?)
So, we send them to school…to get the educational needs met.
So as far as they are in school, we have no problem…it is taken care of.
Since It all lies on them(the school), they just have to know how to go about it.(it’s not our problem).
Hence, it becomes division/specialisation of labour: household needs – me.
Educational/Intellectual needs – school.
So, this is mine, I’ll deal with it. That is yours, deal with it.
Now permit me to share with you a quick something…
So, i went to drop off our sage kids over here in school.
On arrival, i took the 5yr old to her class.
We got to her class, she removed her books from her bag and took her bag to the corner where it is usually kept. Before dropping her books amongst pile that laid on the table.
I greeted her teacher with the widest smile available that morning, it was topped off with a beautiful enthusiasm that i didn’t summon; she replied my greetings warmly.
And i was about leaving when i heard,
“Aunty Cynthia please wait” from the teacher.
“Oh, ok ma” i said standing by, still smiling as i watched her put a child through an assignment he failed to do.
She finally came to her sit and motioned to me to come close.
I went and stood beside her.
“Aunty Cynthia, I’M NOT IMPRESSED” she said, looking into my eyes as if trying to get the fact registered in my innermost being.
I looked backed, a little confused and with a feeling of uneasiness, i said nothing, but smiled to cover them up.
“What do you do at home?…what is happening?”
No answer came forth.
“I look at her assignments and i try to imagine; such fine girl in the house and it’s like this?” gesturing to the book she had opened in front of her.
It finally dawned on me what she was talking about. At that moment all i had left was a faint smile that played with my lips as i came to the realisation that i had been slacking off. I tried to mutter some excuses, but nothing came forth so i shut it back and looked on.
It didn’t end there for she had more to pour from the bowels of necessity
“I understand mummy is busy, but what about you?
Without giving her an answer, I hung My head in the air as i played with nothing with the big toe of my right foot.
After a brief silence of expecting an excuse but then accepting her question to be rhetorical, she went on…
“This girl is smart. I know her capabilities and she is no where close to it…we can help her…you can help us. Put her through, read with her, spell with her, study with her, anything; just help us. Ok?”
“Can i count on you” she asked, softly and smiling like a mother telling her child that she believes in him.
“Yes” i said, smiling sheepishly.
“Thank you”, she said and patted me on my right shoulder.
“Alright, have a blessed day”
“Thank you, ma”
She got up and walked to the front of the class as i walked out of the class with thoughts flooding my mind.
I knew i really needed to buckle up.
Before then i would leave everything for the school and if by chance they(oursagekids over here) threw a question at me i would say “go and ask your teacher in school”. And every other thing(assignments) was left to the lesson teacher/home tutor who comes only thrice a week, so on the days she doesn’t come the assignments would be left undone.
But After then, I took out few minutes to at least go through her books…most times i flip through, sometimes i glance through, then other times i really study the books and from there i got to correct any mistakes there was to correct, studied together and got to take note of her weaknesses and talked to her teacher about it.
And recently, on a monday morning i got to her class and went to her teacher and said,
“Mrs O.K, you won’t believe that since Friday evening I’ve been spelling ‘family’ with her and yet she can’t still spell it this morning. I even tried acting out the letters to her”
Guess her reply to me…
Thank you for your efforts, we can take it from there.
She said that smiling and giving her(our 5yr old sage kid over here) a high five.
I was like…really!?!
She also gave me a pat on the back too which made me feel like i actually did something worthwhile. I left fulfilled and smiling.
So that was it…and it made me realise that we all have a role to play in the all round education of our kids
We make the work easier when we put in our little efforts.
I know, you’re trying, you’re juggling so much…you get tired and stressed out-you need help. …it is understood and appreciated.
But can i tell you that…
The secret to that extraordinary pupil/student in that class, is as a result of the little relentless efforts of both the teachers in school and at home(parents…everyone).
Take out few seconds(minutes) to…flip through. Glance through. Study-do it together.
Go ahead to talk often with the teachers in school on how you can help the child do better.
And trust me…
Your efforts will not(never) be wasted. You can be sure of that.
You know how it feels, right?
You arrive at a place(home maybe), as innocently as always,
With few or no thoughts running through your mind.
You turn the door handle, the door opens,
You enter, like you would on a normal day…’expecting nothing,
You turn on the light
And guess what?
Surpriiiiise!!!!, you hear them cheer.
You’re a little confused,
You look around to find your loved ones all smiling,
And Everywhere drowned in decorations.
a surprise party! It finally dawns on You.
And just then, your long lost friends starts appearing from their hiding places
You can’t contain your joy.
You want to touch the sky
As they hug and shower you with kisses and prayers
It feels like a dream. You want to be pinched
You feel loved. You feel appreciated.
You’re smiling. You’re happy. You’re grateful!
Sweet, isn’t it?
That was how i felt when i saw this and now as i type this.
My gratitude for this?
Trust me you can’t quantify it.
It is an honor to be considered worthy of this.
And I’m deeply grateful, for the massive support and appreciation so far, i couldn’t ask for anything more even i get the chance…(i would though😉😁). It’s more like I’ve got a family.
My followers, visitors, likers, commentors…
Thank you for believing in our sage kids and contributing in your little ways. I am grateful. And I know that together, we’re going to take this beyond horizons….this(nomination) is for us.
Now, let’s proceed.
So, those are my seven sweet facts😉.
Now moving on….
When Vanessa was younger she’d tell her parents(mum precisely) about everything.
She never held anything back or kept anything from them.
She would cry if there was a need to, before them. She would smile, laugh(genuinely)…she never masked anything.
But, as she grew, communication was left behind on the growth journey.
She talked less to them.
She kept almost everything to herself.
And said only the few selected and modified words.
And if there was a need to cry, she’d cry in secret; hiding her tears from them. Most times she’d mask things up with smiles.
What happened to that open spirit that came with her early years?
Where did she lose it?
She just doesn’t get it!
This is where it gets really captivating.
I met a girl the other day. She was in her quarter teens, i could tell.
For a while i observed her from a distance, her calmness struck me.
From my observation, she seemed to me like a lover of alone moments, for she was alone with a book and earpiece inserted into her ears.
So i got close to her and before i knew it, we were talking….
TST*: (removes the earpiece and shifts on the seat) hey.
Cynthia: (sits beside her) hope I’m not distracting you?
TST: no, not at all.
Cynthia: ok, do you love kids?(i wasn’t sure why i asked that though).
TST: (chuckles) yes. I love kids.
Cynthia:(smiles) that’s good. So, would you agree that you’re also a child?
TST: ummm…yeah, I am. We all are. Though growing, but we are ever dependent on the Father.
Cynthia: thank you! You know, I thought i was alone in this. Like, everyone around me is all grown up and you know what they say? ….”grow up. Stop being childish”.
TST: (smiling) you know, the time will have to come when we must grow.
Cynthia: yeah, right. But not outgrow the beautiful virtues of childhood. Anyways, tell me: how’s your relationship with your parents?
TST: i don’t really get.
Cynthia: you know (gesturing with her hands), communication and every aspect of your relationship with them. Do you guys talk?
TST: ok. Ummm, it’s not strong. Like, it’s not really anything to write home about.
TST: i don’t know. (After a short silence), the thing is, I’M JUST SECRETIVE.
Cynthia: oh…ok. Why is that?
TST: i don’t know, that’s just me.
Cynthia: ok…so if your mum or someone around you comes up to you and pours it all out to you, you won’t do the same?
TST: (shaking her head) nope. I won’t.
Cynthia: (nods her head in an ‘i understand’ manner) ok…(after a brief silence), what if it is virtual?
TST: what if what?
Cynthia: you know, you get to chat, not face-to-face, but online, with a family member. Would you pour out if need be?
TST: um, it depends. Because, i love talking to intelligent people, it makes me feel CONNECTED.
Cynthia: (digesting the just shared information)…i see. So you talk when you feel connected, yeah?
TST: yeaaaah! (Nodding her head in a ‘you got it’ way)…
….. There was an interruption soon after.
But it was indeed a satisfying time conversing with her. And even after we’ve parted, i was still pondering on her words(the connection part).
I mean, this is something most of us can relate to.
I couldn’t help, but wonder:
What can we do about this connection thing?
Or is Communication possible without getting/feeling connected.
Don’t you think it’s high time we reconnected?
If you already connect with your parents, how did you do it?
Because we really need to connect and communicate more.
Feel free to drop your sagacious opinions.
*TST- Terrific Sage Teen(named OMO…’or-m-or’).